Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
