ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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