One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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