i just had sex bonerless
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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