So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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