some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
