wrigley field is MILF paradise
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I can't turn off my feet"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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