Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
