i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
