So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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