Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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