how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
