I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
