this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
