In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
