i barfeds in our rink
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
