I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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