A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
