Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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