I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
