I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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