No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
