I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
