I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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