Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
