I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
