I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize