I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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