i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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