ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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