I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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