I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize