He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
