lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
