He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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