shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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