Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This is the high leading the old right now
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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