His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
