I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Randomize
