i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
