"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
