he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
