Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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