Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize