I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
