Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
