When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
