She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
