just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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