so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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