WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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