I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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