note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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