...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize