tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
