Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
