I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize