I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
