is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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