New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
